Additional notes and comments not from the original notes will be in magenta! Comments will be in italics.

Presentation Notes

SLIDE ONE

• Hello all
• Going to be talking faster to accommodate for time

SLIDE TWO

• What’s on the “agenda” - this was a joke about ‘gay agenda’
• My experiences -and others… that I may speak about now without ‘making us look bad’
• Survey + LY’s
• Q&A at the end

SLIDE THREE

• I am a student at [redacted], which is traditionally an all ‘girls’ site
• Trans experience is different to gay and bi experience. The media scrutiny and sexualisation of trans bodies parallels how gay men and women were targeted in the media during previous gay scares.
• When I came out, the overall reception was positive from my teachers and from my friends. There were enough of us out there that it was possible to surround yourself with wholly supportive friends, but the wider school community is prone to much more misgendering - most queer students I know have much worse experiences with exclusion, bullying, loneliness, and assault. People have misgendered me on purpose, yelled my birth-name across the class. I was sexually harassed in a busy school-ground area when with a group of my friends. Others have had bricks thrown at them, been beaten up, handed conversion therapy/detransition pamphlets in the classroom. Call it out. By not saying anything, you are teaching pupils that this behaviour is acceptable. Support the students. School culture or maturity or age is not an excuse.
• Are you helping or harming? When I have just come out to teachers, they have tried to comfort me while repeatedly using my birth-name and she/her pronouns… in a private conversation with me??? If you… cannot bring yourself to use my correct name and pronouns in a private setting, then don’t use any at all - also why? What are you scared of? What is terrifying about being supportive to your trans student IN PRIVATE? That they might tattle? This is a demeaning experience that I sincerely hope no one ever has to go through again. 
• Learn active listening, read ‘Counselling Skills for Dummies’ -the book that taught me how to mask… It was good in my memories, might re-read and see how it holds up. We can all improve, I can improve. Just because we can improve and should improve does not mean we are bad people - I’m sure you’re very aware of that. Good people can be unhelpful, can do bad things. And that’s okay, but we live and learn and we MUST learn. 
• When asking ‘Are you sure’, you are treating someone who has: done their research, tried coming out to friends and or family, known their identity for weeks, if not months and years - as though they are incompetent at telling you who they are, that you view them as someone who cannot think through such important things to them with thoroughness and in a meaningful way. This question breeds distrust and frustration. They have not come to you first - and if they have, you have not made a good first impression to coming out. Try ‘thank you for telling me. Is there anything I can do? If you have concerns, it must be for the safety of the child, not out of wanting to reduce discomfort for parents etc… Try not to twist the meaning of safety to your curiosities and your personal beliefs. You are a teacher. It is not your job to figure out if someone is 'actually trans'.
• Allow for multiple name changes - informally, at least. We all expect and allow for teenagers to grow and change with time, as this is a period of such - why can’t trans kids do the same? Address extremities in frequencies as and when. 
• Just because you are LGBTQ+ doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn about labels within the community + challenge infighting. There was a time where you were the ridiculed group. Do not become the persecutor of your fellow queers.
• We should not use afab or amab on individuals without their permission – sex and gender are separate, but sex is also on a spectrum – intersex people exist… There is a danger of falling into ‘girl nonbinary’ or ‘boy nonbinary’, and reinforcement of sex essentialism.
• Please educate yourself about neopronouns, we are not hurting anyone. Please do not turn around and say ‘you are the reason they will not take us seriously/its so hard to get rights’ 
• I use he/they/it and all neopronouns, but I, like 99.9% of neopronoun users, understand that society will not respect my pronouns, and therefore use he/him in school. It is okay if you do not understand. My pronouns and who I’m out to with what is for a matter of my own safety and comfort, and not yours. If you are unsure of what the ‘safe’ option is and wish to stick to it, I expect that. Ask about individual preferences. Communication is always better than lack thereof.
• I stand here today, explaining these concepts to you, baring my identities for you to question and learn. However, it is not the duty of individuals with these labels to educate you. Give them the opportunity to refuse. Ask if you can ask. It makes a huge difference. - Labour from marginalised is always expected to be free, cheap, or to be available at all times.

SLIDE FOUR

• Disclaimer: surveys are always never representative of the whole population and should serve as a guide for our benefit, rather than exact statistics. My sample size is small, though I have tried to sample from both sites and all years. 
• However, there is almost thirty odd so that's good.

SLIDE FIVE

• Identity spread - just to make you aware of the different identities present in school, the other is for abromantic (sexuality fluctuates). So just to be aware of how diverse the student body is when allowed to explore their own identities (albeit outside of school) - LMAO, yes definitely outside of school considering the SCHOOL PRINCIPAL sent out a note literally saying ‘Individuality is for after school’

SLIDE SIX

• I asked students if they would feel or did feel comfortable coming out. This pie chart is very optimistic as there are, of course, many students who are not out - even to other queer individuals and would likely skew this chart to “no”.
• Well, why did some people feel comfortable coming out? Charter award - ambiguity in why the school has this award for inclusion?? Feels like ticking a box, rather than meaningful change. It speaks to such a difference between the sites that we already know of, that box-ticking is reassuring to a group that continues to experience severe violence - it shows the lack of alternative reassurance and support.

SLIDE SEVEN

• Negative experiences outside of harassment include overhearing homophobic and transphobic remarks which may be directed at their friends or otherwise. People are very good at keeping these comments away from the ears of teachers. 
• Being outed without their consent - this does still happen, perhaps teach about how this is not acceptable in PSE (this is not taught)
• So, when it comes to harassment, what happens there?

SLIDE EIGHT

• In purple, you can see that a majority has experienced harassment - usually verbal harassment, though individuals (such as myself) have experienced sexual harassment at the hands of other pupils. May be shocked to hear this - harass-ees are younger years.
• Why do younger years and other pupils think it's appropriate to harass queer folk, even those in groups? Normalisation of ‘just jokes’. Not very funny/hurtful is not a ‘joke’. I think it also comes from laughing at things that we find different and therefore strange. - I think multiple someones have written about the spectrum of violence and how allowing the jokes to continue, you open the door to more and more aggressive violent actions by slowly sliding the boundary line or what violence is acceptable.
• How many report? Why not report - lack of trust in staff. Distrust because of the constant lack of confidentiality kept - home situation: you don’t know, can be dangerous. Just because private school doesn't mean abuse isn't happening.
• Earn trust - showing consistently that you are reliable, trustworthy, and keep to your word. Do not lie. Not even ‘white lies’. We will find out and trust hard-earned is even harder regained. Show us that we can talk to you about what we don’t like without being dismissed. Try - ‘I’m sorry I didn’t realise that what I said would be hurtful. Is there anything I can do in the future which might be better?’ GIve the option to not know

SLIDE NINE

• What about national statistics? Taken from the Stonewall website, includes figures as recent as 2021

SLIDE TEN

• So, I’m sure you can glance over these rather dismal statistics yourself. But this is to inform you that this is happening all across the country. That although things are better, they are not good, per say. And that we, as a collective, must continue to work towards this good.
• LY Time for brief intro + what would’ve helped them, and a bit about the gender unicorn

SLIDE ELEVEN

• LY Time

SLIDE TWELVE

• LY Time

SLIDE THIRTEEN

• LY time

SLIDE FOURTEEN

• So, what have other students mentioned as what would help them?
• Big flags in the classroom. Being visible and vocal about your supportiveness for LGBTQ+ identities and ACT on your zero-tolerance policies. Support students after incidents happen. 
• RUN THROUGH BRIEFLY: You could include casual mentions of queer people in example questions (any subject). Instead of a family with a mum and a dad, maybe Billy has 2 dads? Maybe Billy is referred to using exclusively they/them pronouns? I’m sure there was more but I was relying on the slide… that I have now lost.
• The most important question

SLIDE FIFTEEN

• Wow ice cream, release the tension - in the survey the final question was whether or not people preferred ice cream or sorbet. Ice cream won.

SLIDE SIXTEEN

• What is neurodiversity? The deviation from what is considered the norm or typical in neurological function.
• We all know ASD + ADHD, but so is dyslexia, dyspraxia, FND, Epilepsy, Dissociative disorders, Cluster-B personality disorders, CPTSD, etc.
• Why talk about it here? Why talk about it now?
• Big overlap in the autistic and GNC community (theres a paper written on this but I was too tired to put in the stats for you). And 50-70% of autists or ADHDers are the other.
• THIS DOES NOT MEAN CAUSATION. This does not make the individual any less transgender or less capable of understanding their identity, making their own decisions etc… It’s worth clueing up on what may help neurodiverse individuals if you’re wanting to be a source of support for trans students though. You should be, regardless, but this is another motivator.

SLIDE SEVENTEEN

• Disability is not a bad word. I myself, am disabled. Like acknowledging negative experiences in the queer community, it is important to acknowledge the negatives of the disabled experience so we can make change. By enforcing toxic positivity, we speak over disabled voices to make ourselves feel more comfortable.
• No functioning labels please. Someone’s grades are not indicative of their mental health and the effort in masking. Masking is disguising neurodivergent traits, most commonly seen in autistics. It is draining. Bad for your health. The amount of stress is unhealthy. We mask, we are ‘high-functioning’ at our detriment for your comfort.
• As queers, we know how it is to disguise ourselves, the discomfort of constantly hiding something very central to our identity, being mocked for it, being told to keep it where they cannot see us. Please do not extend this thinking to people you consider weird - who are neurodivergent, who are traumatised and cope in ugly ways, who use neopronouns.
• By teasing people, let’s say: autists, about things we cannot control - our mannerisms, our facial expressions. It may be funny to you, but we are not your friends, we do not know you. If you have that rapport, alright, but please be mindful that for many, it leads to shame. When were you teased about being effeminate? For liking girly things? For being too flamboyant?
• We are not the problem. The cis-heternorms of society are. So much of ‘cringe culture’ makes fun of autistic people. Relate it to ‘thats so gay’ or ‘are you gay jokes’
• Why give accommodations anyways? Potato peeler analogy - similar to curb cut effect where a tool/adjustment is meant for disabled people (wheelchairs), but benefits everyone (elderly, prams, bikes, etc). How can we trust them to know what they need or who they are?
• Allow me to posit - how can we trust trans people to know who they are, and whether or not they need to access gender affirming surgery?
• We are not taking advantage of you. And imo, it is always better to give accommodations to ‘people who don’t need them’ than to refuse someone who needs them and will suffer from the lack thereof.
• You are living and learning, and I respect that. Thank you for keeping an open mind, and please - if our initial instinct is to judge what we do not know, that is not shameful. How we respond to it is what matters. 

SLIDE EIGHTEEN

• WEBSITE TIME
• I HAVE LEAFLETS
• ART WOW

This is referring to my legal name change guide found on the home page.

SLIDE NINETEEN

• Thank you for listening, again. And when you listen, please - not entirely sure how this sentence was going to end.

SLIDE TWENTY

• Time for a Q&A, please welcome LY back