I want to speak to all of you about community - which, is why we’re all here today, right? We know what communities are, and we know why we’re in our own. But…

I am of the belief that social media,theweaponisation of therapy language, hyper-capitalism, hyper-individualism and societaldecline towards fascism has affected the way we lean on, and think about others. I believe that sometimes we approach community-making without fully understanding the way we respond tothosein community with us, and I hope that I can help verbalise some thoughts that you may agree - or disagree - on.

I’ll start with a definition of community, then speak a little about roles, situational awareness, inconvenience and discomfort. 

Community is an umbrella term - your friend group can be a community, an activist group can be a community, union members, neighbours, your local co-operative, dnd groups, maintainers of community gardens -> so what is a community, but a group of people that have chosen to stick together for whatever reason? Be it a shared characteristic, exchange of particular ideas, services, or goods, a mutual interest and care in one another, or anything, really. 

There is no one way to participate within your community - but participate you must, else, you remain solely an onlooker.

I want you to think of your interpersonal dynamicswith the people you know - the numerous sides of yourself that show up for different people. 

When you think about it, just as you do, others also show up differently within a community depending on their skills and resources. Some include: direct-actioners (TKDB), legalists (TransActual), keepers of the community hearth, mutual-aiders, educators, recruiters, etc… 

But what happens if you feel that there is no community for you to show up for? Who shows up for you? For me, there was not an existing, concrete community that I was part of, especially in the past, but it was possible to make one and foster a space where I felt happy and could truly be myself. 

You, too, can make a community. You can create a social space - it could be open-air. It could be your living space. It could be the pavement. Anywhere - anywhere. You can make somewhere that suits you, and your needs more snugly. Of course, there will never be a perfect fit, but imperfection is human, and our choosing to stick around despite that and work around that is wonderful. 

As a quick note, Hierarchies within communities are something that I won’t cover in my time, but I do highly encourage you to look into, and reflect on whether or not your goals show through in your practice, and the results of how your community manages itself.

Just as there are different roles in a community, there are different types of people you may be in community with - and differences in those communities themselves.

So, I want you to consider your boundaries, your tolerance of others’ ideas, behaviours, and beliefs depending on whether or not they are:

• a partner
• a very close friend
• a friend
• an acquaintance
• your colleagues
• your activist network
• your knitting club… 

I’m not going to tell you what your boundaries should be within whatever group or interaction, but I do want you to consider the differences in what you WILL tolerate or accept.

Some things are intolerable. Some things are always a hard line that nobody should cross. 

But are you both working towards a mutual goal and have compatible values/beliefs? Do you need to have the same values/beliefs? Do you have opposing beliefs, and will this affect future partnerships? I’m using fairly formal language, but these are not prompts for one specific use case, and I encourage you to use its ambiguity to its advantage.

In short, keep an open mind, but choose who you ally yourself with wisely. 

Okay. This is the part where I start begging and pleading, so, brace yourselves. 

Please, allow yourselves to be inconvenienced by other people. This is how we support each other. Learn prioritisation. Your needs are important, you need to have capacity and energy, I get that. But what if everyone is tired and stretched thin? I know I am. 

I’m not asking you to dig yourself a grave through martyrdom, I am asking you to be okay with being inconvenienced. I am asking you to allow people to make you uncomfortable. I am asking you to be okay with discomfort when it doesn’t affect your safety and wellbeing. Someone’s suffering, someone’s safety and right to exist in a space does NOT come second to your discomfort or inconvenience. 

And this, is about you. You. Are special, but you’re not. special. Look up white exceptionalism.

Help your friends move, feed their dog, comfort them when they’re in pain, help them out of a tight spot. Body double with them, let them challenge the way you view things. Communicate with them when they do. Let them couch surf. Do their dishes. Care for each other- no, really. Care. for each other. 

I, like so many disabled people co-care for people within my community. Something about being disabled really radicalises you because, well- if you and your friends won’t help each other out, who will? The NHS? What, with their death-loops and waiting lists? The government? That has proven over and over that it does not value disabled lives? 

But you don’t have to be disabled to care for another person. You don’t have to be at a crisis point to offer help. You don’t have to be at a crisis-point to accept help. Your community needs to be aiding each other so you DON’T reach a crisis point or stay there - so you can HAVE the strength to remain fighting.

Not all the work you do will be thanked for or rewarding, not all the work you do will be easy, but it is good workand it’s important. 

We say ‘Found family this’ or ‘Found family that’, but family is not just about the hangouts, the late nights, and the good times. It’s about sticking through it together and pooling your resources, skills, and energy, and creating a beautiful, living, breathing bonfire for a home.

It would be so easy, if we all worked relentlessly to serve our own interests. It would be pretty similar to our society now as capitalism continues to sink its teeth into us, eroding compassion and dignity, as we begin to resemble those crabs in that great white plastic expanse, clawing and eating and killing ourselves. 

But right now, right here, we are still yet, in control of ourselves. We still have the opportunity to connect with one another, through face and phone, from home to home, and road to road - we can create spaces for ourselves, lives for ourselves, and rise, rise, rise.