my plants :)

I have previously killed every single one of my plants.

I was gifted a nerve plant that I named 'Barty Bartholomew Beatrice Banksy III' which I overwatered and then it was infested by thrips, and then some weird red beetles, and then aphids. I bought an Aloe Vera that I watered once, and the substrate just didn't dry for the next month or so and it fucking died. I bought a sundew (a flatter looking species) because it couldn't be overwatered, and bought distilled water for it. It got infested by grey catepillars and had some other pest issues that caused me to just put it out of its misery.

I resigned myself to my only remaining son - Jeremy, who is a marimo moss ball and used to have beneficial worms. Once I switched over to distilled water for his health, they all died. I feel kind of bad about that.

I figured out that the reason everything I touched died was actually because I water too much, so I ended up using a toothpick to test the soil like you do when baking something, and waiting for the soil to be dry all the way through - and it's been working! I also tend to have to repot all of the soil because it retains too much water for too long in my rooms.

And I also now have an army of spiders that I do not disturb in my house, and I have not had any problems with pests :) I love them all from a distance, although I do tend to say hi to the smaller ones - since keeping Felix I can tell when they are calm and they've been 100 times cuter!

But yeah, every plant owner has killed a ton of their first plants so don't get discouraged!

What is your Pest Prevention Protocol?

Once I get my plants back home, I have a figure-out of whether or not the substrate will be appropriate in terms of drainage based off past-experience. I dig around to figure out how tightly packed the soil is, whether or not it has lots of things in there to break up the bulk of it, etc. I tend to add leca clay balls to the bottom layer of all my plants to give that extra bit of certainty that my roots aren't drowning in water.

Then, I get them into the shower and give them a really, really good rinse. I wash off the entire surfaces of the leaves and stems thoroughly, going over each sections multiple times. Then I leave them to dry off.

The Quarantine period is about 2-3 weeks for my plants, sometimes longer. This is to see if there are any sneaky pests hiding in the dirt, that didn't get rinsed off, and other such things. I put them in an entirely separate room and space them out from one another. This keeps my current residents safe.

If a pest infestation breaks out, I tend to use daily rinsing for sap-sucking pests, or let the soil dry out to the bone for fungus gnats. I use 70% Isopropyl Alcohol (IPA) that I dilute to a 1:9 ratio (IPA : Water) and spot-treat for fingal spots. If there are particularly bad infestations of sap-sucking pests I will consider using that diluted IPA solution with dish-soap and treat that way.

I have yet to face a battle I cannot win with rinsing (that isn't fungus). But, leaves staying too wet for too long can cause fungus outbreaks! And, if your soil is getting wet, then the plant can develop root-rot. So be careful.

I don't use pesticides because my jumping spider likes to play on my plants, and I want to keep him safe. I also don't want to treat with harsh chemicals if something else will work instead. I've considered biological control and neem oil - for biologics, I just don't think my problem is big/bad enough to warrant it. For neem oil, I hate the smell.

You want to be regularly cleaning off the leaves of your plants. I tend to do this whenever I remember to while watering. Aside from pests, dust doesn't exactly help your plants photosynthesise.

Permanent Residents

Here are all the plants I can safely assume will be with me for the rest of their very long lives! I have given them all names, and love them all very much.

For most of my plants, I err on the side of dryness - I water them once they dry out, and their position to the sun, the substrate mix they're potted in, and size of pot are all relatively different... meaning that I poke the substrate all the way through with a toothpick and check to see if its dry or not. And then I water them. Usually it does work out around the same time!

The name comes from the fact that he has literally risen from his ashes... he suffered such severe root rot that all his roots fell off apart from one branch, and lost like all of his leaves! And then I changed out the substrate (because my place is cold, so the soil dries out much slower) and moved him to a less sunny spot.

Since then, he's been moved in small increments here and there where I adjust according to what his leaves are telling me - curling up meaning he needs to be further away from the window...

So yeah! I have grown very fond of him. He needs medium levels of indirect light and will tolerate longer stretches of time without watering. If his leaves start curling upwards to form a 'cup' shape, or if he's drooping he needs watering!

Deer (my friend) named it. I got it for £4 during a special offer on ivies. It's incredibly resilient but I made the mistake of putting it too close to the window. Even if the light was filtered. It quite badly bleaches one of the leaves.

Ivies are more tolerant to being kept more moist, but I like to wait until the substrate dries out completely. Easier to give a thirsty plant water, than cure root rot, I think. If your ivy leaves are floppy (NOT yellow), or if the whole plant is drooping... please water it immediately!

Named after one of Easy Delivery Co's characters. The patterning on the plant reminded me of the ginger tabby. I later found out that the leaves can change their positioning on a hinge-like 'neck' at the base of each leaf. I think when the leaves are all spread out it probably means he's happy? In any case when he brings them all up and curls them to reduce the amount of light hitting the surface, I know that something is wrong.

He likes to have a decent amount of light, but watch for the positioning of his leaves to see if he's happy! Brown tips and edges = lack of watering or too much light.

I was quite afraid of buying this guy. I just have a fear of plants with dense foliage because I'm scared that they will host one billion pests within their leaves that I won't spot until it's too late and everything I own dies :( . But! Possibly my easiest to keep plant. Named according to a suggestion by my partner. I think? Maybe I am misremembering, but in any case, I did have a bagel with them once, and they said it was a very authentic American bagel. This plant reminded me of them - so!

Loves loves loves the light! Right at the window-ledge of the south-facing side and going super strong. I'm going to have to repot it soon, or propogate, or trim it back. I feel kind of bad trimming it back though when I can just repot...

I really like names which are nouns, such as 'Princess', or 'Treasure'. When I was coming up with a name for this plant, I wanted to gender her as a woman purely based off vibes (I gender all my plants based off vibes). Her genus literally has the word 'sweetness' in her name, and I realised that all the other plants are masc/non-binary. I like to think she is very good friends with Masha because they're placed on similar levels to each other... above the men (lighthearted). She has some woman friends joining her soon, don't you worry!

I broke her pot a couple of times, and used to headbutt into her daily due to where she was positioned in my room... I also sometimes accidentally knock off parts of her. I propogate them in water or by sticking them into the top of Pheonix's pot (he has no roots at the top yet due to the previous root rot). Those plants will be called Genesis.

Anyways, she likes the sun almost as much as bagel. Her purple-ness is more prominent when she's less in direct sunlight, however.

New Arrivals

She is very promising so far, and has been moved out of quarantine. I feel like she could, like sweetness, be given a name that has to do with what her species is called. However, I'm not sure that fully suits them.

I did consider adding her into a terrarium set-up... But I feel a lot less keen on getting a new jumping spider or mantis right now. I was thinking about putting them in with my isopods, but I'm not sure she will get enough light.

Not sure why, but this plant also scare me so much. I feel like she's super easy to kill. Even though she hasn't shown any indication of that so far. He's not thriving either, so... :( Idk I just have a bad feeling that I'm going to snap all his leaves off or something!

Quarantine Zone